Top 3 Stay at Home Mom Struggles
When I first chose to stop working, I knew the potential stay at home mom struggles that I would soon adopt. However, I didn’t know the weight they would carry. #TheStuggleIsReal could not be more appropriate.
There are so many things we deal with as stay at home moms, but what struggles are the most prominent among us? Even more, how do we overcome them? When I surveyed other moms, these were the top 3 struggles we had in common:
1 | We feel an internal pressure to “Do all the things.”
Okay, when I asked other women what stay at home mom struggles they dealt with the most, this one took the cake. As much as I’d like to say I am shocked, it actually made a lot of sense.
When we take a look around, everything around us is calling for our attention. With social media and technology everywhere, we are on information overload. This makes it really hard to differentiate between fleeting desires and what we truly value.
On one side, it’s incredible the ambition we have within us to do everything we feel is important. On the other side, I think we can all admit that it’s actually rather exhausting to go wide rather than deep.
Tips to overcome it:
Change your self-talk. If this were your friend sitting across from you, hurting because she can’t seem to do it all, would you tell her to try harder? I’d hope not. I think the enemy has a tendency to trick our minds into constantly wanting to control everything, convincing us that our actions will change everything and make all the difference. It’s toxic. We can’t do it all, and that’s how it’s supposed to be.
Determine your priorities. At the beginning of every month, I write down everything I’d like to accomplish. The list is usually really long and I tell myself every time “I can probably swing it.” I literally can’t. those months are always the most stressful for me. However you choose to organize your to-do’s, cross out what isn’t a priority. If you aren’t sure what to cross out, pray and/or seek counsel from friends and family…but don’t forget to prioritize.
2 | We don’t really know what “me time” is anymore.
At this point, I’m sure it seems kind of obvious for us to say that “me time” is one of the most common stay at home mom struggles, but let’s be real, Admitting we need time to ourselves goes against our very desire to “do it all.”
When “me time” does happen, it’s usually during naps, and even then, we can’t go anywhere and leave the kids behind. It’s my personal belief that creating time for ourselves has gotten extremely complicated and everyone looks at it differently.
Tips to overcome it:
Discover what works for you. Answer this question: What brings you life? you can break this down to what brings you joy? Take your time on this, because it’s easy to answer this with what the world tells us “me time” is. For a lot of women, time at the salon gives them life – it just gives me nice nails. It’s nice, but it isn’t life. I like time with people, I’m an extrovert and this helps my energy. I like reading books because they feed the natural learner in me. I love writing, it just makes me happy. What brings you life? This process takes a lot of trial and error if you have lost sight of what this is for you.
Make time. When you’re first starting to be intentional with your “me time” it may seem unnatural or selfish, push through it. You can only take care of other humans when running on fumes for so long. You HAVE GOT to make time to refuel. This looks different for me all the time, and sometimes it just gets in where it fits in.
3 | We feel under-appreciated.
Being a stay at home mom is the most thankless job I’ve ever had. It’s no wonder feeling under-appreciated made it to the top 3 stay at home mom struggles. If your love language is words of affirmation, I’m praying for you! Also, can you pray for me?
I don’t think we are all expecting an elaborate speech by the end of the day, but this concept of feeling underappreciated typically has a few underlying issues. I can’t speak for everyone, but sometimes it feels that what I do is just a basic expectation. No matter how much I deal with in a day, it’s basically summed up as “part of the turf.”
While what we do often seems mundane, this isn’t true. Being a mom is the most complex, strategic, important, spiritual thing we could possibly do. It takes grit, strength, and endurance.
Tips to overcome it:
Tell yourself who you are. This may seem cliche, but the best advice I could offer is to seek God first and receive affirmation from Him. Discover who He says you are and speak His words over yourself as often as you need it.
Just Ask. Like any relationship, communication is key. We all have some basic needs that we would like to be met. I think it’s okay to be open with your spouse about how you feel and ask that they can affirm you more often. When brought up in the right time and manner, I think you’d find that your spouse is more than willing to affirm you for what you contribute.
There are so many struggles we have as stay at home moms, and while these were just the top 3, I hope you know that you are not alone in what you may be going through. Comment below on what other struggles you have so we can support one another.