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Top 3 Stay at Home Mom Struggles

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When I first chose to stop working, I knew the potential stay at home mom struggles that I would soon adopt. However, I didn’t know the weight they would carry. #TheStuggleIsReal could not be more appropriate.

There are so many things we deal with as stay at home moms, but what struggles are the most prominent among us? Even more, how do we overcome them? When I surveyed other moms, these were the top 3 struggles we had in common:

Top 3 Stay at Home Mom Struggles

1 | We feel an internal pressure to “Do all the things.”

Okay, when I asked other women what stay at home mom struggles they dealt with the most, this one took the cake. As much as I’d like to say I am shocked, it actually made a lot of sense.

When we take a look around, everything around us is calling for our attention. With social media and technology everywhere, we are on information overload. This makes it really hard to differentiate between fleeting desires and what we truly value.

On one side, it’s incredible the ambition we have within us to do everything we feel is important. On the other side, I think we can all admit that it’s actually rather exhausting to go wide rather than deep.

Tips to overcome it:

Change your self-talk. If this were your friend sitting across from you, hurting because she can’t seem to do it all, would you tell her to try harder? I’d hope not. I think the enemy has a tendency to trick our minds into constantly wanting to control everything, convincing us that our actions will change everything and make all the difference. It’s toxic. We can’t do it all, and that’s how it’s supposed to be.

Determine your priorities. At the beginning of every month, I write down everything I’d like to accomplish. The list is usually really long and I tell myself every time “I can probably swing it.” I literally can’t. those months are always the most stressful for me. However you choose to organize your to-do’s, cross out what isn’t a priority. If you aren’t sure what to cross out, pray and/or seek counsel from friends and family…but don’t forget to prioritize.

2 | We don’t really know what “me time” is anymore.

At this point, I’m sure it seems kind of obvious for us to say that “me time” is one of the most common stay at home mom struggles, but let’s be real, Admitting we need time to ourselves goes against our very desire to “do it all.”

When “me time” does happen, it’s usually during naps, and even then, we can’t go anywhere and leave the kids behind. It’s my personal belief that creating time for ourselves has gotten extremely complicated and everyone looks at it differently.

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Tips to overcome it:

Discover what works for you. Answer this question: What brings you life? you can break this down to what brings you joy? Take your time on this, because it’s easy to answer this with what the world tells us “me time” is. For a lot of women, time at the salon gives them life – it just gives me nice nails. It’s nice, but it isn’t life. I like time with people, I’m an extrovert and this helps my energy. I like reading books because they feed the natural learner in me. I love writing, it just makes me happy. What brings you life? This process takes a lot of trial and error if you have lost sight of what this is for you.

Make time. When you’re first starting to be intentional with your “me time” it may seem unnatural or selfish, push through it. You can only take care of other humans when running on fumes for so long. You HAVE GOT to make time to refuel. This looks different for me all the time, and sometimes it just gets in where it fits in.

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3 | We feel under-appreciated.

Being a stay at home mom is the most thankless job I’ve ever had. It’s no wonder feeling under-appreciated made it to the top 3 stay at home mom struggles. If your love language is words of affirmation, I’m praying for you! Also, can you pray for me?

I don’t think we are all expecting an elaborate speech by the end of the day, but this concept of feeling underappreciated typically has a few underlying issues. I can’t speak for everyone, but sometimes it feels that what I do is just a basic expectation. No matter how much I deal with in a day, it’s basically summed up as “part of the turf.”

While what we do often seems mundane, this isn’t true. Being a mom is the most complex, strategic, important, spiritual thing we could possibly do. It takes grit, strength, and endurance.

Tips to overcome it:

Tell yourself who you are. This may seem cliche, but the best advice I could offer is to seek God first and receive affirmation from Him. Discover who He says you are and speak His words over yourself as often as you need it.

Just Ask. Like any relationship, communication is key. We all have some basic needs that we would like to be met. I think it’s okay to be open with your spouse about how you feel and ask that they can affirm you more often. When brought up in the right time and manner, I think you’d find that your spouse is more than willing to affirm you for what you contribute.

 

There are so many struggles we have as stay at home moms, and while these were just the top 3, I hope you know that you are not alone in what you may be going through. Comment below on what other struggles you have so we can support one another.

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21 thoughts on “Top 3 Stay at Home Mom Struggles

    1. Kimb

      That’s so sweet! there are struggles for both. When I was working and only had a few hours a night with the kids before work the next day, the mom guilt was HEAVY on my heart! They both come with their sacrifices.

  1. Chelsae

    Reading this hit home. My daughter just turned a year and I too decided to become a stay at home mom. I LOVE it but I definitely have these struggles but it has been hard to put the struggles into words. You did a great job!

    1. Kimb

      Exactly. Just because we have struggles doesn’t necessarily mean we don’t love it or that we want to be doing something else. Just like any other jobs, it has its ups and downs!

  2. Ariel Butler

    I love how easy this is to relate to. I think this is what makes being a stay at home mom so hard. We are harder on ourselves then anyone else. The pressure we put on ourselves is ridiculous. Sometimes we need to just relax and realize we are human! Thank you for the great tips and excellent reminder to maybe give myself a break and definitely some me time. 🙂

    1. Kimb

      Absolutely! It’s so hard to balance the emotions that come with wanting to take time for ourselves. It’s like somewhere along the lines it became “selfish” in our minds but it totally isnt!

  3. Tasheena

    I’d have to agree that I share those exact struggles! The most difficult part is carving away alone time. Unfortunately, I’m at the point now where grocery shopping solo is like a vacation.

  4. Emily g

    Oh gosh! #2 is just so true. Me-time is really hard because there really isn’t a “break” in the day. Nothing really separates the day, except for naps! I’ve learned to take a minute during one of my son’s naps to just read, post on Instagram, or something else for myself! I love your post- great tips!

  5. Alexis H.

    These are like the super top things, especially when everyone has an image of what they think your doing and it’s hard to get them to see what you really do! You clean and clean and clean some more but it still looks like a 4 year old tornado went through the house lol! What we are doing isn’t easy but as long as we keep in mind that we aren’t the only ones experiencing these things it makes it a little easier!

    P.S. What is me time?…….😆

    1. Kimb

      BAHAHA! you’re telling me! Sometimes the second my husband comes home from work I just say “I promise I cleaned.” There’s no such thing as keeping up.

  6. Karima

    Thank you for writing this. I literally just got into an argument with my husband about the fact that I can’t do everything and everyone expects me to. Then I logged onto Pinterest and there was your post. It really spoke to me and even made me cry, because it’s so true! While many working moms judge us for staying home, our families completely take advantage and underappreciate the one person that literally sacrificed it all for them. I’m happy to see that I’m not the only one. It gives me perspective and motivation. Thanks again!

    1. Kimb

      Karima, it means the world to me that this spoke to you! Yes, you are most definitely not alone! Although there are many stay at home moms, it can feel so isolating. It truly is a sacrifice, there are days that are downright awful and then there are little moments that we cherish that help us make it through until the next moment. Stay strong mama!

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